First Dates, ménage à trois

Get your mind out the gutter! It is simply the third incarnation of my First Date blogs. Although, I do have a cheeky past. Hey you! What's it been, two months or so? One day I will make this a habit. One day. Maybe.

'2025 A Year in Review' is bubbling and will be posted soon, oooosh, it has been a doozy of a year! Hold on to your hats my ever faithful, I am fizzing at the thought of writing this one. No, nope, hush, no spoilers.

You can wait, just like we did, in the 1980's, for the next episode of a TV series. Bloody binge-watchers want it all now.

FFS. In November 2024 I wrote this; https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/first-dates and swiftly followed it with; https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/first-dates-part-duex Well as a result I took a break from dating in 2025. I like to kid myself that I was simply too busy, and there is some truth in that, although the flip side of the coin is that, I had, in all reality, lost my mojo, I was simply not fussed, by any of it.

Dating.

Sex.

Ladies. Meh. I know!

Me, not trying to garner the interest of a lady.

Unheard of. I went to the US again (of course I did) as detailed here https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/fifth-time-is-the-charm and when I got back it felt like a switch had flipped. My dearest friend from way back announced she was engaged, which, after the time she has had, I was and am so very pleased to hear about. Also, I see one of my dearest, more recent, friends so deliriously happy, (these ladies both have the same name, hey you two xxx {waving}) and I thought, 'I want me some of that'! So despite my better judgement and slating of the same, (five years ago)! https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/dating-apps I jumped back in.

Well. Your author has been a bit of a hit! Oh shush you, you don't need to flatter me by saying 'of course you were', 'never in doubt', 'you hottie you', 'could you flex any more on TikTok'. Paul (@paul091972) | TikTok

You'll make me blush. Whilst Stateside I was chatting to one lady and it was getting very friendly, we even had chats whilst I was barrelling down Interstate 65 from Nashville to Birmingham Alabama in a 5.0 V8 'Stang. It was grey, cabriolet, blood red interior and sounded amazing, burble burble. Yes I am acutely aware that statements such as those are why this post exists, https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/i-am-single Anyway, the chat was going well, we arranged to meet up when I returned. I was a bit of a dick as I decided to let L down on a theatre date we had planned for some time and use it to meet this lady.

I know, I know, never give up friends. But cut your author some slack, this has been brewing for nearly three weeks and it seemed like the perfect opportunity. Plus, did I mention that I had not 'dated' for nearly a year!

I almost rolled out the 'did I ever tell you about the time I backpacked around Europe story'.

L was not a happy bunny for a while. We are cool now. But she will make me pay for this. Ha, love you x. The lady come over, we went to the theatre, it was superb, a touring production of The Women in Black, seriously go and see it! Outstanding. Ahh, an aside has presented itself, you know I love an aside. On the Monday after the date I was in the office and I was telling work mates about it, one asked, what did you do? 'Well' says I, 'I had tickets for the theatre, the matinee performance of...' at which point he stops me and says, (and I am not making this up), 'wait, you went and saw the sea cows they have in Florida'.

After seeing the sea cows (!) we dropped off the Micro Penis mug she had bought me as a gift (nope, not going there) grabbed another drink, before heading for food at a local Thai place. Promo time.

House of Yum Instagram where the welcome, food and service are always sublime. I feel like Wayne and Garth in Wayne's World Product Placement scene; Wayne's World - Product Placement - YouTube Little, Yellow, Different. I am not being sponsored for this blog. Wait. Should I be? More drinks and after three weeks of chat, that naturally got more and more heated, she came back to mine. Two adults made a decision and we had a lovely time. A part of me wants to justify 'that time' with words, but I already did, with the opening five words of that sentence. She didn't stay over. Soon after, a circumstance occurred that led to us deciding to not take it further, again an adult decision was made. Back to swiping. Boom! Jackpot! Match!

Blonde

Five foot one Petite

Amazing smile. Paul is in trouble.

We chatted.

We met.

Adults made decisions on the first date (shush, I hear you, pipe down). It was lovely.

Date two was planned, a whole weekend at mine, come over Friday, out in Shrewsbury. Saturday, pop to the market, get a lamb joint, cook a roast on Sunday and see how it goes. 50 hours or so flew by, it was sublime. She met friends of mine. Paul was close to being sold. Now I am a gent (again shush, I hear you) and I am not saying there was something Dodgy in Dodge City in the back of my mind, but certain flags were fluttering prior to the 50 hour weekend and my closest and dearest felt the same, so I thought the air should be cleared after the weekend. Well. Strike Two! Paulypop is O for Two. She got the drop on me. I am, it seems, too 'Paul' for her.

Those were her words. Are you ahead of me? Are you worried? Is my ever faithful worried that their author is striking out, again, he's going to regress, we will have diatribe after diatribe. Ha, have faith my faithful. (could I say faith any more if I tried)? The swiping is reaping rewards and there has been a first date since 'little miss 5'1"and there is an imminent date that has brought out 'Mr Imposter'. So out of my league! Ladies, watch out. Fuck. That was nearly my ellipses, which would have been cringe city. 1990's Paul raises his head. Kill it, kill it with fire. That is so far from who I am now and how I want to end this.

Despite the falls, I am back on the horse. I have a confidence back, one I have not had for ages, and, as strange as it sounds, it is being 'seen'. I can't easily explain how, but it is. Trust me. I can feel it.

I can see it. I see the signals. I see it in me. I like it. It feels more controlled this time.

Confidence without arrogance. I have my swagger back. And I like me, again. Watch out ladies...