First Dates, Part Duex.

I am leaving the next block of text as it was written, grammatical errors and all.

2232hrs, on First Date day , I am on the train home from the date, it is as per the train here the most bumpy train ride ever, serious, are we on the A34 in a 1970's Austin Princess?

I am now a fan of Tapas, so much food, in such seemingly small amounts, amazing. Yes, yes I can hear you, pipe down. 'Oooh he has never tried Tapas', 'Mr. I have done this, I have done that'. I thought it was all about fish, and we don't mix.

Goes back to my Jaws fascination, snappy snappy bitey, bitey.

Georgie won Bake Off and we watched this in a bar on my laptop. This was always in plan for the date. What wasn't was the glitchy 4OD app that freaked out if you dared to touch your (smart) headphone, it meant we had to restart the show three times. Seriously 4OD no slidey bar, come on. Not your fault by any means and I loved the 'scarf touch'. 'smiley emoji'. First dates are hard, you have to find your own middle ground, don't be too PAUL but equally keep the chat engaging.

I thought that my radar was broken, or possibly in need of calibration, but maybe it isn't. I do know when you are interested. I know when you're not. Read this one first.https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/first-dates OK, back with me? How was it? Did you read any other posts? How were they? Sorry about 1986, that's a bugger of a read, I don't go there, you're braver than me if you do. Need me to explain? Lets dive in, let us see a bit more of the headspace that is mine, its quite something. I feel I say that often.

Anyway. I am writing my third post in less than 24 hours, although one was started in August, forgotten and then thrown out there as a bit of a joke. Like Uncle Bryn's joke of the T-shirt he bought after Gavin and Stacey's honeymoon, well actually five weeks before they got married, I suspect it fell as flat.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=895046120958657 The block of text in italics at the start of this post was after a few vinos and written, as it says, on the train home after the date. I knew at that point that there would be no second date, which was mutually confirmed via texts the following morning. All good. No harm no foul. It is also how I sometimes approach a post, I chuck a load of text down and then tidy it up, but not this time, I wanted you to see the process, no other reason other than originally that was a part of the First Dates post and I decided that it required its own deep dive. Ha they are never deep, more shallow than a summer rain puddle in direct sunlight. Ready? Tapas. I have always avoided Tapas, never really understanding what it was and assuming it was all about fish, which I am not a fan of, it doesn't agree with me. I am re-born. It was amazing and filling and cheap. Wow. Snappy snappy bitey bitey No idea why I wrote that, probably due to me thinking Tapas was heavy on fish and liking Jaws, nothing to do with the lady on the date. My defence, dear reader, is if you have an issue with what tiddly me wrote, then you need to take it up with tiddly me.

Don't come to sober me, I was not there.

'laughing face emoji'

'shrugged shoulders emoji'

4OD and Slidey Bars A highlight of the date, we set it up on my laptop and shared my Bose earbuds, one each with an open ear between us so we could also chat, turns out the 4OD website is a little sensitive and if you touch the bud or remove it, it gets all weird and restarts the programme, there is no ability, when the show is live, to rewind or fast forward. We restarted three times. Well done Georgie. First Dates are Hard. They are. I wasn't too PAUL, or at least I don't think I was.

My radar is not broken.

Clearly Body Language is fascinating, not enough that I want to study it in depth but being an ESTP, I am apparently quite preceptive to it and that's quite helpful professionally and personally. A Snippet from;

https://www.verywellmind.com/estp-extraverted-sensing-thinking-perceiving-2795986 Have strong social skills: They are very observant, often picking up on details that other people never notice. Other people sometimes describe them as "fast-talkers" who are highly persuasive. In social settings, they often seem like they are a few steps ahead of the conversation. Examples of my perception and body language.

If sitting next to somebody who can cross their legs, which I can't, not even close and I think it looks horribly uncomfortable, where do you put the 'bits'? I have Drag Queen friends who could probably answer that. Anyway, if they cross them towards you they are interested in you as a person as it naturally turns their body towards you. Makes sense. Eye contact is another easy one, most people find it uncomfortable and I get that, I do too, to a degree, it is quite personal, almost as personal as you can get aside from the clear obvious and then eye contact really kicks in.

I have in mind one particular lady and the eye contact with her when we have been intimate is so powerful.

I used is, not was. Make you own minds up, naughty readers.

Eyes are the portal to the soul, or some shite like that, ha ha, but they are, they convey so much more language than speech ever could.

There is an Autism test out there that asks you to identify a persons mood/intentions simply by their eyes, you cannot see the rest of their face. https://embrace-autism.com/reading-the-mind-in-the-eyes-test/#test I scored 34. How did you do? Other points. Being engaged in the chat, easy one. If you are distracted by the goings on of the room around you over being engaged by the person you are with it is a massive signal. Having to ask someone to repeat what they said is also an indicator. So on a first date if you are getting these signals in a negative manner, do you go for the stoic British approach and stick it out, stiff upper lip and all that or do you bail?

Maybe you accept you are in and not wanting to be rude, roll with it and hope that there may be a change in the direction of the date. You can turn this around, I believe in you. 'strong arm emoji'

You do know that I type this on purpose and I am not hoping that it appears on my page as an emoji. OMG, you think I am retard that thinks that typing the emoji description will make it appear, that's not it, I just don't put images in my posts. It's a quirk, my thing 'rolled eyes and slightly embarrassed emoji' Hope is a thing I think we cling to with a false economy, that sunk cost fallacy that makes you stick with something because there is always the hope it will come good, but equally knowing that it probably won't. I stuck with it...