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The Big Lottery Win!

I have a plan, now where have we heard that before? Quick caveat, I haven't won the Lottery...

Just another aside from your author, who has found his vibe and keyboard again. This is still the big plan

Start low and work your way up, try not judge, accept it for what it is, random rumblings from my wine fuddled brain.

I spend a lot of time driving, sometimes for hours and for many hundreds of miles as part of my job, doing 400 miles in a day is common and acceptable, its just sitting down after all. I have this little thing where I celebrate when my Sat Nav tells me I only have 99 miles to go, it feels like a victory and I have broken the back of the journey/work day I am on.

99 miles is nothing.


Sat Nav, that makes me think of the film Grown Ups, where Lenny's (Adam Sandler) daughter crashes the car trying to use the 'navy' which is what she calls the Sat Nav. I adore those films, simple, family orientated and bloody great.

'And switch' if you know, you know.

Oooops, off piste again, I am sorry dear reader, my brain goes on tangents, I cannot control it, but that's part of the charm, huh, 'wink emoji'. I always have the radio on during these journeys, of course, mainly Radio X, LBC or BBC 6Music but I also find myself playing out scenarios, well more fantasy's I guess. The Big Lottery Win is one such fantasy. I have this idea that if I won big on the Euro Millions I would plan and do the following.

I would hire out a hotel and its function rooms and then invite my closest, dearest family and friends and their immediate families.

The List is about 33 strong at last count.

If you are wondering if you are on The List, well depends, do you know me personally dear reader, are we close, or are you a stranger that stumbled across the random ramblings of a soon to be 50 year old who has a plan? Which, by the way, starts here, share it, tell your friends. Have I mentioned that I am 50 soon..? I'd hate to be a bore and come across as repetitive to my faithful readers. You know, you couldn't be blamed for thinking that I have a complex about 50, it's just a number after all, a fucking big one, but a number none the less.

Back to the point of the post.

I would have a room prepped for the children, pool tables, games consoles, ice cream machines and a chocolate fountain, you get the idea, and then have the adults sit in another room. Another room would be ready for one hell of a party after 'The Speech'.

In prior preparation I would also have engaged the services of a reputable firm of financial advisers and have them secreted away in rooms awaiting the end of 'The Speech' I would then walk out to the front of them and deliver 'The Speech'. Wow, have I ever over egged the use of 'The Speech'.

I know where your thoughts are dear faithful this better be bloody worth it...

Essentially I would want to eradicate their debts and set them and their children up for life, a one off, no obligation deal, based upon each of their family dynamics etc. which is where the financial advisers come in. To guide and ensure all is above board.

I feel that winning an amount like £100 Million needs to be shared. No need to dive too deep into that. It is self explanatory. 'The Speech'

This is the bit I practice in the car, as in I actually say it aloud and envision it in my head, I really should concentrate more when driving... I can see myself stood in front of them and then, whilst driving or sat in traffic, and probably with James O'Brien in the background, I go through the 'The Speech'

I have yet to catch someone looking at me as I ramble on to myself and gesticulate the pertinent points of 'The Speech' We are back to Carl! It is a fantasy, I know that, yet, for those glorious few minutes it takes me to go through 'The Speech' it warms my heart and brings those dearest to me a little closer.

I wish as hard as I can that one day it actually comes true and I get to say out loud 'The Speech' in whatever incarnation it is at that stage.

Only thing is, I don't ever play The Lottery...

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