Have I wasted time, or have I actually lived?

Am I enough? Part 3.

The thing about being in your 50s is that you are old, but equally, you are not old, we are Generation X.

Born between 1965 and 1980. We are 45-60 in actual age, look 30-40 years old, still feel and act like teenagers, and will tell you to fuck off without hesitation.

Sarcastic, no fear, low tolerance of bullshit and nonsense and still listening to the same music we did as kids.

Being in your 50s is wild.

You find that your group of friends are all living in different timelines.

Some are grandparents. Some have young children, or are about to become parents for the first time.

Some look 38, some look 78, but are dating 25 year olds.

My close friend group at this stage of my life ranges from being in their late twenties to their mid sixties. I am pretty sure I have never had that much of an age range spread in previous decades of my life. Remember where I wrote about being approached in a bar, by a lady (this time...) because she found it attractive because I was sat alone, reading a book (a real book) and she thought that was hot? I talk about it here; https://www.my11yearplan.com/post/mid-year-performance-reviews

Well!

It happened again, tonight! (Friday 7th August) Different bar. Same book. Wait.

It's the book isn't it? They are interested in the book, not me. FFS. Ha Ha.

Oh well, it is good for the ego if nothing else.

This time next week (as of typing, not necessarily of your reading, of course) I will be in a hotel near Heathrow ready to board, the following morning a flight to 'Merica, again. Sixth time in four years and I am equally as excited. It's a short trip this time, just a week, but a really special one. My boy, Sam, Sammy, the Little Brother, is getting (legally) married.

Oh, my ever faithful, tears will be spilled, mainly from me.

I am a soppy sod really. The ever true to me will know that I am not shy in coming forward and I am apt to remind you of things I have done, so this post may come across as a little boastful.

And I should apologise, but no, I won't because that's not the point of it at all.

I am analysing me and my life to date.

Have I done enough?

That, should fate take a different turn and I find myself with little time left, can I say, with honesty to whatever supreme being decides my time is up, pick a deity of your choice (there are quite a few, see below). 'Hey, that's OK I have led a good life and I am content with the same'. I am not religious, never have been. I am not anti religion, if it is something that assists you in your life, then all good. Of course the way it is interpreted and used often comes into question and let's be honest I served in countries that were fighting over their beliefs more than anything. As is the case for the mass majority of any war this world has seen, now the shift is 'what resources do you have that I can steal' as a reason to throw munitions around.

Ricky Gervais sums up religion brilliantly in these two posts, amongst others. Ricky Gervais On Religion [Stephen Colbert, 2017] {Full video Link in Description} Ricky Gervais on science and religion. I have been thinking of this post for a while and of course a huge part of it is listing what I have done, seen and achieved as a measure as to whether I can answer the post heading.

It is like the opposite to those Memes you see on Instagram or Facebook, you know the 'give yourself a point for everything you have never done' which then goes on to list everything those of us that were born before 2000 would have done as a natural cause of existing, like used a rotary telephone, owned a CD etc.

How do I detail what I have done, seen, experienced?

In my mind it was always a block of text starting with 'I have'. No explanation of those things, simply recounting them, no order, just as they come into my mind. Lets do it.

They will seem to flow, but not.

No apologies. Not all pretty.

I have;

Been married. Jumped from a perfectly operational airplane (more than once). White water rafted in more than two countries. Had my heart broken. Seen the Northern Lights. Bungee jumped. Seen BTCC live. Ridden a World Cup Mountain Bike track. Seen the F1 at Silverstone. Visited 19 US States (to date). Flown a plane. Met Mickey Mouse on two different continents. Been arrested. Kite Surfed. Surfed. Been on Zoom calls with stars of Jaws and Jaws 2. Loved more than one lady. Been loved with a passion I will not see again. Been bombed. Watched Moto GP, World Superbikes and British Superbikes races live. Served in a War Zone. Seen The Pyramids, Sphinx, Valley of the Kings and Queens and Tutankhamun's treasures. Loved with a passion I may no longer have in me. Never tried drugs (the one puff of a joint in Amsterdam does not count). Been trained to fire many different calibre weapons. Lived in a different country. Been in handcuffs. Scuba dived. Boxed, in an actual ring in an actual boxing match. Worked in a TV studio. Lost many people too soon. Visited many filming locations. Owned over forty vehicles. Been a wedding photographer. Sold flowers. Performed on stage (am dram). Lived in five counties of the UK. Watched Baseball in Florida and Boston. Had numerous (lots of) jobs, but only one true career. Never smoked. Spent time in hospital, more than once. Been to Las Vegas. Climbed many mountains. Broken many bones. Ridden motorbikes. Skipped school. Broken hearts. Travelled, a lot. Tattoos. Snorkelled over a coral reef. Learned a trade. Seen live music, some huge artists too. Been to court. Failed, more than once. Painted my toenails (I still do). Got my ear pierced. Divorced. Been shot at. Cried at a film, song, play, book, scene in a TV show (over and over again). Swam in many oceans and seas. Wasted a day, a weekend, a week. Seen International Rugby at Twickenham. Sailed the Channel on a proper yacht. Sung karaoke. Snowboarded. I have visited the Eiffel Tower, Blackpool Tower, San Francisco, New York, Florida, Nashville, Turkey, Cuba, Mexico, Egypt, Las Vegas, Iceland, Canada and lots of Europe. Visited the Choco Story and Frietmuseum of Bruges. Done a Jaws tour of Martha's Vineyard. Ice skated. Skied. Watched a film outdoors, under blankets. Seen the Burning Bush. Two Stepped in Canada. Drunk JD in Nashville. Been afraid. Left everything behind, more than once. Been arrogant. Been horrible. Lived in a van. Watched the sunrise over Mount Sinai. Ridden horses on white sandy beaches. Lied. Stolen. Cycled London to Paris. Taken Salsa lessons. Fired back at the shooters. Climbed the Rocky Steps in Philadelphia. Been on a nudist beach at a French Swingers resort. Experimented. Seen wild alligators in the Everglades. Had regrets. Been banned from driving (too many points). Been fired. Met some truly amazing people. Lost friends. Taken more than ten airplane flights in one single year (13). Made some truly horrendous life decisions. Wasted money. Cheated. Danced (badly) in Ibiza. Changed my body shape. Hand fed Raccoons, twice, both in Florida. Had a problem with drink. Donated blood thirty times to date. Been afraid. Met Chris Moyles and Dom Byrne and other celebrities. Watched my brother get married.

One of my colleagues, as I have mentioned before, says that I have a story for almost everything and, that's true, I do.

I have lived this life.

I have not always done it brilliantly, and on occasion to my own detriment, but I feel I can say that I have grabbed life by the balls and said let's fucking do this.

And I still am. I am still open to trying anything once and sod the consequences, I can and will deal with the problem after it occurs, rather than avoid it. A dear friend of mine, Simon, shocked me last year, in a nice way. We were out for drinks in Oxford with Lisa as we are apt to do a few times a year (we are all ex colleagues who still meet up) when a situation arose on Oxford high street where a man, who clearly had some issues, was starting to intimidate Lisa. Well of course that does not happen, so I placed myself between them, making sure Lisa was behind me and engaged with the gentleman to bring the situation down with Simon just off to one side but also between the man and Lisa. The guy starts to get animated and I start to feel the hackles on my neck rise and my fists clench, this could get ugly, but we eventually walked away.

At the next bar we were talking about the event and Simon admitted to feeling nervous (I was not nervous at any stage, full of adrenaline though) but ready for action should I go for the guy who was showing signs of aggression, because, in his own words;

'I love being out with you Getty, because you're unpredictable and I like that feeling of being on edge'.

Unpredictable.

I quite like that, I like being unpredictable, not to the point where I want anyone to feel scared that I might do something really stupid of course and whilst age may not have mellowed me as such, it has made me wiser so the chances are slim, if not zero. Full circle. Have I wasted time, or have I actually lived? There is more I could add to that block of text I am sure, things that will pop into my mind as soon as I post this, like when you think of a great comeback the day after an argument with someone, always the way.

I have lived, I feel I can say that. I have had a great life. And I still have more to come...