I do not make things easy for myself. Way, way back in November 2021 I wrote this post;
All about my experience of dating in my late 40's and how the days of meeting someone naturally are seemingly gone and how we now spend our days swiping left and right based on a short blurb and a few photo's, and, as I ramble on about, it is soul destroying and littered with potholes and trolls. I did meet one special person via the 'apps' and as I wrote back then, I thought she was the one, well, time has passed and despite hanging on to that thought for quite a while and certainly longer than was healthy, I have moved on, as has she and I wish her all the happiness. I adore the sea and you get seasick, it would never have worked, "happy smiling emoji". I adore the 'Rom Com' movies, especially those by Richard Curtis, you know the ones, About a Boy, Notting Hill, Love Actually and of course the granddaddy of them all, Four Weddings and A Funeral. Actually, Mr Hugh Grant, you have a lot to be thankful for to Mr Curtis, you are the main protagonist in all of the above and, I am likely to regret admitting this, I took a photo of you from About A Boy into my hairdresser and asked for that haircut, guess it could have been worse, I could have tried to replicate your hair from Four Weddings... Within Four weddings is an adorable character called Tom and he is known for holding on to the belief of meeting someone at random and being instantly struck, albeit when it happens to him, it's a distant family relative.
[after running into his second cousin once removed, Deirdre]
Tom : Golly! Thunderbolt city.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109831/characters/nm0281424
I can say with all honesty that this has happened to me twice in my life before I turned 50, one of those ladies I married and the other I had a long term relationship with.
It is rarer than finding a hens tooth next to the needle within a hay stack that is mixed within rocking horse pooh. And I had given up on it ever happening again. Then, I went to the US and Canada, as below
I spent two weeks, over my 50th birthday in the USA and for part of it in Canada to finally meet the people who see and love my brother almost in the same way I do.
Sammy has always joked about getting me to our friends in Canada and in front a series of rich widows, or soon to be widows so I can 'clean up', yep that phrase was actually used...
As much as it is a joke, it was on my mind as we crossed the border, although the majority of my thoughts were that finding such a lady would be counter productive, it would never work, it isn't what I want, I am not from that lifestyle, it isn't me.
Not my agenda, we were there to see our friends and celebrate Sam's birthday as well as continuing my 50th celebrations.
50, seriously, how did that happen? After attempting to destroy my liver after arrival over the first 36 hours, I will never be over the Pink Whitneys, Christian, I will never forgive you for this..., our host took us away from their gorgeous garden bar and we went for lunch at their golf and country club. We drove up, parked and walked through the reception area and towards the inside bar and...
Golly! Thunderbolt City
Yes, dearest reader and follower of my random ramblings at 50 years and 2 days old I had my third ever lightning strike. It was instant, her eyes and smile captivated me, I swore inside my head and mumbled under my breath the following, 'oh no, not here, not so far from home, come on, give me a break, why do I have to make things so difficult' ffs, she is amazing, but of course she won't think the same, she won't have even noticed you, let alone like you, you're just another customer, why would she look at you any other way, I mean come on she is stunning, way way out of your league, just sit down, have a beer, be polite, she probably isn't even working your table, you'll never see her again, aside from a possible fleeting glance as you leave, enjoy your lunch and go home to the UK in a weeks time and get on with that element of your life'
All that in a matter of seconds, the time it takes to walk through a bar and say 'Good Afternoon'.
Honestly
I am betting you quite fancy ten minutes inside my head and I reckon you'd last much less than half that. Its a place, no doubt. Anyway, turns out this lady was our waitress for the afternoon. Balls.
And.
Result. It was quite a sunny day and we wanted the parasol up, and she came out to assist us, for a matter of moments I was in such close proximity as we tried to work out what was wrong with it (the string was undone) and I held it in position whilst she re-tied the string. I was lost
I was struck
I was useless (even more than usual)
I was speechless
I was gone I didn't care about anything else I saw nothing else I saw nobody else I didn't hear anybody else but her She had reason to come to our table on a few occasions and at one stage explained that she had been stung by a bee, on her lip, so apologised for it looking swollen, I was captivated, I did not take my eyes from her. I wanted her to keep coming back to our table, I wanted to go inside and say 'Hi', I wanted to be in her presence.
I confessed to our freind and brother about how I was feeling, although not the full extent, just that I found her very attractive. They were not surprised.
I need to to be clear, this is not a pure lust thing or seeing someone you find attractive as you walk along the street or in a bar, this was instant, it was chemical, it was powerful, it was a thunderbolt.
Our friend and host is amazing, she also wants me to 'settle' and she said she would speak to this amazing lady next time she saw her, and true to her word, she did.
ooooshhh
The lady did notice me, was reported as being very smiley when I was mentioned and it was confirmed that I liked her,
Not verbatim, I was not there, but it was relayed to me that:
'My name is "" get him to add me on Facebook.
I did
It was accepted.
We had chats via Messenger
We swapped numbers
We had text chats via WhatsApp We spoke on a call, it was terrible as I was driving and the signal was shit, but it was also sublime, I was speaking to this lady again and not just because I was a customer, but because we wanted to, she wanted to.
It felt so natural, so easy to chat. But. 3650 miles is a lot.
Not insurmountable, but certainly life changing, and it came to light and there were wobbles, of course there were and are.
We are still friends and there is the odd message. I have, and always will, respect her choice. I get it, it makes perfect sense.
But, I think of you every day, without fail...